Introduction
Sex.
It’s a word that instantly stirs a reaction in people — curiosity, shame, embarrassment, excitement, happiness, sadness, fear, worry, confusion, or even silence. But how often do we actually get to talk about sex in a safe, nonjudgmental environment? That’s where sex therapy comes in. As a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and Certified Sex Therapy Informed Professional (CSTIP), I offer a supportive, compassionate space for people to explore their sexual concerns, understand their experiences, and reconnect with their sense of self. If you’ve ever wondered what sex therapy really is—or whether it might be helpful for you—this post is for you.
What Is Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that focuses on concerns related to sexuality, intimacy, identity, pleasure, and connection. It is centered around the psychological, relational, and physical health of the person(s) seeking support. Individual therapy, couples therapy, and group therapy are approaches where sex therapy is appropriate and helpful.
Despite the name, there is no physical contact or sexual activity in sex therapy—it’s all about conversation, education, reflection, and healing.
Sex therapy may involve:
• Understanding and improving sexual functioning
• Exploring desires, identities, and preferences
• Navigating relationship dynamics and communication
• Processing trauma or shame around sex
• Developing a more empowered, satisfying sexual life
What It’s Not
Because of how sex is portrayed in the media, many people imagine sex therapy as something sensational or taboo. Let’s clear that up:
• Sex therapy is not hands-on or physically sexual in any way.
• It’s not about "fixing" a person or forcing a particular sexual outcome.
• It’s not only for people in relationships—many clients come in as individuals.
Instead, think of sex therapy as a type of emotional and relational wellness care. It’s a place to make sense of your experiences, and to remove shame, guilt, and self-judgements.
Common Reasons People Seek Sex Therapy
Sexual concerns are incredibly common, but most people suffer in silence for far too long. Some of the most frequent reasons clients come to sex therapy include:
• Desire discrepancies (e.g., one partner wants sex more than the other)
• Low libido or changes in desire
• Painful intercourse or discomfort
• Erectile or orgasmic challenges
• Body image concerns that affect intimacy
• Reclaiming sexuality after trauma
• Exploring sexual orientation or gender identity
• Religious/cultural shame around sex
• Sexual boredom or lack of connection in long-term relationships
If it’s impacting your quality of life, it matters—and you deserve support.
What Happens in a Session?
Many new clients are understandably nervous about what to expect in a session. In sex therapy, you can expect a respectful, open, and structured conversation. We may explore your personal history, relationships, beliefs about sex, current symptoms or concerns, and goals for therapy.
Sessions might include:
• Psychoeducation (understanding how sex works emotionally and physiologically)
• Communication skill-building – how to talk about sex with romantic partners
• Unpacking past messages and stories you’ve learned about sex
(Ex. I am a bad lover, I’m no good at sex, my sex life is doomed)
• Exploring patterns and barriers to sexual fulfillment
• Developing tools for intimacy, self-awareness, and confidence
There’s no pressure to share anything before you’re ready. As the client, you set the pace, and I will match it and we will gently increase your comfort in exploring your concerns about sex.
Sex Therapy Is for Everyone
People of all backgrounds, identities, and relationship structures come to sex therapy. It’s for:
• Married couples struggling with connection
• Individuals experiencing shame or performance anxiety
• LGBTQ+ clients exploring gender or orientation
• People recovering from trauma or religious conditioning
• Clients managing chronic illness, disability, or medical changes
• Those curious about kink, polyamory, or nontraditional relationship styles
There is no one “type” of person who benefits from sex therapy. It’s for anyone who wants a more empowered and connected relationship with their body, their sexuality, or their partner(s).
Why It’s So Hard to Talk About Sex
Let’s face it—most of us weren’t given a great education about sex. Instead, we may have learned that sex is dangerous, dirty, or something not to talk about. Even in adulthood, these messages stick with us. That silence creates shame, which often leads to pain, confusion, and disconnection.
But therapy breaks that silence. It provides a safe space to ask questions, tell your story, and feel seen.
How Sex Therapy Can Help
Many people find relief just from talking openly about their sexual concerns for the first time. But sex therapy offers more than a listening ear—it’s a place for transformation. You may find that:
• Your anxiety decreases when your experiences are normalized.
• You gain language for things you never knew how to explain.
• You feel more confident advocating for what you want or need.
• You heal from hurt you didn’t know was affecting you.
• You experience more connection—whether with a partner or with yourself.
Final Thoughts
Sex therapy is a powerful tool for healing, discovery, and connection. Whether you’re struggling with a specific sexual concern or simply want to better understand your sexual self, it’s a supportive, affirming space for growth. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit. You only need curiosity, courage, and a willingness to explore.
If you’ve been wondering whether sex therapy is right for you, it absolutely is! You deserve a sexual life that feels safe, satisfying, and empowering! Let’s help you get there. Email me today at stevenspatz.lpc@gmail.com or fill out my contact form on this website.